Dork Glue

It’s amazing how badly you can want some things to work out when it’s obvious they won’t. Like I wonder what part of the brain that is. Maybe it’s the “this shit isn’t logical but damn it’d be awesome if things would just go the way I wanted” gland. This is why I love journals. Since 2003 I’ve kept a journal and chronicled everything I felt I might doubt or didn’t want to forget. I suggest doing the same. It makes confusing situations a lot less confusing when you can look back on how you felt about things in the past. I love it when I’m smart enough to pull my own head out of my ass!

The last date I went on was a lunch date. I knew things were going to be bad when he asked me where I wanted to eat and then started spouting out the lunch specials of every restaurant downtown and anouncounced that $8 was rather expensive. We meet at the restaurant and after some extremely awkward silence and conversation about invigorating topics, like what types of plates are the best to hold beans, our food arrives. It’s at this moment that I realize my date has a very large mouth. Much like a bass. It could double as a kiddie pool. You could swim Olympic laps in it.  His food did, and his hinged bassmouth gave me a full view of the race all the way until his food reached the finish line. He was probably a really nice person, but nice doesn’t make up for a bassmouth.

Imagine the guy in the black shirt is me, minus looking like he is into it. Imagine the guy in the blue shirt is some random guy who’s name I don’t know, minus having his tounge sticking out. That would sum up the last experience I had at a NetParty networking event. Don’t know if I’ll be trying that again.

What makes a relationship suck? Well Bob, there are many factors that lend themselves to the degree of  suckiness that some relationships reach. However, I think one of the worst ones is how people forget they still need to impress each other after the relationship isn’t so fresh and new. For example…

I love it when douchetastic boys from the past pop-up with no warning months (sometimes years) after you’ve stopped talking and act like there is no bad blood or issues to discuss. Seriously?!