Archive for January, 2009

Park it like it hotttt

Friday, January 30th, 2009

I’ll admit this is lame before I even say it outloud, but my car is really bad for parking. I’ve had other cars and they parked fine. However, there is something about this one that wants to be crooked and all up in the spots surrounding it. No matter what I can do a decent job of parking. If I can’t get it down by 25, I may just have to get a new car to rememdy the issue.

Parking yo

Who wants fajita cologne… not me, not me!

Thursday, January 29th, 2009

Fajitas are so yummy but the good ones have one huge issue. No matter what you do, if you order sizzling fajitas (the fun kind that steam off of the fiero) you end up smelling like fajita all day. While I understand how that could be a huge turn on, it just doesn’t do anything for me.

fajita smell

First your fingers, then your nips

Tuesday, January 27th, 2009

If I don’t get warm soon, something other than my finger will be frostbitten…Frostbite dont play

Zac Efron is hot

Monday, January 26th, 2009

The other day at work some guys kid needed a lifesize poster of Zac Efron (the kid from high school musical). The girl was trying to explain that she wanted to use the rasterbater and when our admin didn’t understand I piped up and offered to help. This helped me come to the conclusion that Zac Efron is indeed hot, even though saying that makes me feel like pedophile. With that said enjoy this hibiscus flower I rasterbated the summer of my senior year in college.

Sex can wait

That finger was meant for me

Friday, January 23rd, 2009

Awkward situations when your not sure if someone is being passive agressive with their offensiveness, or if they really don’t realize what they are doing, are always fun.  Most people have seen the episode of Seinfeld when George thinks that the waitress is flipping him off but everyone else says she is just pointing. I love it when that happens in the workplace.

the finger

Pickles are bad presents

Thursday, January 22nd, 2009

What makes a relationship suck? Well Bob, there are many factors that lend themselves to the degree of  suckiness that some relationships reach. However, I think one of the worst ones is how people forget they still need to impress each other after the relationship isn’t so fresh and new. For example…

Pickle excitement

We are the keepers of this legacy

Tuesday, January 20th, 2009

What is the legacy? America as we know it. Unless you’ve been living with a pack of wild hummingbirds, I’m sure you witnessed one of the most sincere and encouraging speeches of all time this morning. Barack Obama’s inauguration speech was only the beginning of the amazing changes our country is capable of bringing to fruition. With his leadership I believe know that we, as a nation, will rise to the occasion and get things moving in the right direction. I’ve never felt so electrified in my life!

Yes we will!

I should be a songwriter

Monday, January 19th, 2009

So Soulja Boy has created a ton of wealth by writing stupid songs with catchy beats. Not gonna lie, I’ve shaken my bon bon to a few *head hung in shame*.  I got to thinking, what  would a brainstorming session for Soulja Boy actually be like. My guess is something like this…

Soulja Boy Brainstorm

I don’t have pets for a reason

Tuesday, January 6th, 2009

My lazy neighbor let her dog out to relieve himself and he thought  the middle of the sidewalk looked like a mighty fine place to handle his business. Of course I didn’t realize this (usually the dog sends a memo about these kinds of things) until I was in mid-step trying not to slip and fall therefore have it all over my pants as well. Luckily I didn’t fall, but I’m tempted to print this and leave it on her door.

Poop and Scoop

I’ve got gas problems

Monday, January 5th, 2009

So I know that natural gas bills increase in the winter because your using more heat due to cold weather, but an extra $60 dollars is more than I can humor.

My new crib