Dork Glue

It’s amazing how badly you can want some things to work out when it’s obvious they won’t. Like I wonder what part of the brain that is. Maybe it’s the “this shit isn’t logical but damn it’d be awesome if things would just go the way I wanted” gland. This is why I love journals. Since 2003 I’ve kept a journal and chronicled everything I felt I might doubt or didn’t want to forget. I suggest doing the same. It makes confusing situations a lot less confusing when you can look back on how you felt about things in the past. I love it when I’m smart enough to pull my own head out of my ass!

There are many reasons I love my life as it is. One of them is that my cooking doesn’t need to impress anyone other than me. I am easily impressed.

The last date I went on was a lunch date. I knew things were going to be bad when he asked me where I wanted to eat and then started spouting out the lunch specials of every restaurant downtown and anouncounced that $8 was rather expensive. We meet at the restaurant and after some extremely awkward silence and conversation about invigorating topics, like what types of plates are the best to hold beans, our food arrives. It’s at this moment that I realize my date has a very large mouth. Much like a bass. It could double as a kiddie pool. You could swim Olympic laps in it.  His food did, and his hinged bassmouth gave me a full view of the race all the way until his food reached the finish line. He was probably a really nice person, but nice doesn’t make up for a bassmouth.

Imagine the guy in the black shirt is me, minus looking like he is into it. Imagine the guy in the blue shirt is some random guy who’s name I don’t know, minus having his tounge sticking out. That would sum up the last experience I had at a NetParty networking event. Don’t know if I’ll be trying that again.

Valentine’s week is here! Whoop whoop! It’s all about love, lust, being single, and dodging the bullets of what might have been. I heart single me, I hope she never dies.