Dork Glue

The last date I went on was a lunch date. I knew things were going to be bad when he asked me where I wanted to eat and then started spouting out the lunch specials of every restaurant downtown and anouncounced that $8 was rather expensive. We meet at the restaurant and after some extremely awkward silence and conversation about invigorating topics, like what types of plates are the best to hold beans, our food arrives. It’s at this moment that I realize my date has a very large mouth. Much like a bass. It could double as a kiddie pool. You could swim Olympic laps in it.  His food did, and his hinged bassmouth gave me a full view of the race all the way until his food reached the finish line. He was probably a really nice person, but nice doesn’t make up for a bassmouth.